MUSIC 1983

It's the finest music in the land.

Sung by a choir, that's not very grand.

The one you can hear singing top note,

Is a Black and White Billy or Mountain Goat.

No one reads music, that's not of much use.

Conducting is usually done by the Goose.

The Chickens and Ducks Keep well in Tune,

Our Farm Dog howls by the light of the moon.

The Cows you know start off with a moo,

That's the signal for the Owls too-whit and too-whoo.

The Sow with her Piglets, begins to grunt.

The Fox joins in and leaves the Hunt.

The Horses are good and give a loud neigh,

Not to be left out the Donkeys bray.

I've not mentioned the Birds of the air,

Wonderful how they all do their share.

The Cats of course are masters of this art,

And with their Kittens all take part.

The Cockerel is perhaps a little too loud,

But then again he is rather proud.

This choir of mine is very well trained,

Only the Church has of yet complained.

We sing our praises to Him on high,

The Poor Old Vicar, can only sigh.

His congregation consists of but few,

I'll help with my choir, How about YOU.

VET.

If I take you to the vet

I know what he will say.

What a lovely pussy cat,

Your the fourth today.

He will prod and press you,

Your heart he will test.

I will try and hold you,

At least I'll do my best.

The Vet will nod his weary head,

For your claws you'll surely show.

That fur of yours will stand on end,

And back your ears will go.

Then he will take a big syringe,

And fill it with a drug.

With needle sharp to pierce your skin,

He'll kill that bad old bug.

But if we both stay indoors,

Just you my pussy and me.

Soon I'll hear contented snores,

And that's how it should be.

DOGS.

Please excuse me when I sneeze,

For I am from China, a Pekinese.

Call me the pride of the German nation,

For I am best known as the Alsatian.

My name is, Sir Reginald Beagle,

You could not compare me to an Eagle.

I must admit that I'm a Red Setter,

For hunting purposes there is no better.

I call myself a pure Welsh Collie,

Rounding up Sheep keeps me jolly.

In this world there is nothing merrier,

Than me the little Fox Terrier.

Me you will find with nose to the ground,

For I am a Basset, and that is a hound.

Mais oui, mais oui, its easy to see,

A Poodle from France, Cest moi, that's me.

To feed me my friend will drive you insane,

For I am from Denmark a really Great Dane.

You will find us all at Crufts you know,

Like all good actors, we try to steal the show.

I have no pedigree, or so it is said,

No soft cushions for my poor old head.

A mixture, Pot Pourrie, a tramp of the street,

But a truer dog my friend, You will never meet.

KING.

Said the Eagle listen to my words,

For I am truly king of the birds.

No said the Owl this cannot be,

For you are filled with vanity.

Once you were free and flew on high,

Your wings of pride, filled the sky.

But now you are just a captive sign,

No more a bird, godly divine.

Used through the ages by man for war,

Roman legions battled with an Eagle before.

A symbol of brass, iron or gold,

Blinding mankind now as of old.

The Austrians gave you two heads, then one,

American Indians say you are direct from the sun.

But to me the Owl, known to be wise,

There is only one bird, king of the skies.

And that is a bird filled with love,

A symbol of peace, The heavenly Dove.

ANTS.

In garden, field and forest fair,

I have seen you everywhere.

Samson could be your name,

Strength your claim to lasting fame.

Not only is this true of you,

You are organized through and through.

Your cities are not with chaos filled,

Order, discipline in each citizen instilled.

Every member of your tiny race,

Can look the other in the face.

There are no lies, no hate, no fear,

The way of life for you is clear.

Could this be a way for you and me,

To live our lives as Ants maybe.

Very Fishy.

The Dolphin and the Whale,

Got caught one night in a gale.

Said the Whale, 'I've got to blow,

It's all this water you know.'

The Dolphin sprang into the air,

You know that's not very fair.

You do it to make me fret,

Just to get me all wet.

The Whale thought for a little while,

Then said with a hearty smile.

Dolphins are the friends of man,

Go live on the land if you can.

For when there's a gale at sea,

I'm as happy as happy can be.

And I'll let all the world know,

That a Whale it must blow.

For that's in a Whale's nature you see,

All of the Whales are like me.

The Dolphin with a flip of it's tail,

Swam off in a huff in the gale,

Now this poems not for sale,

And that is the end of my tale.

HOUND DOG.

Long floppy ears, down to the ground,

Experts tell me that you are a hound.

They say you are a hunter with a long tail,

A pedigree on four legs, Species male.

When we go walkies down in the town,

The people do stare some of them frown.

What breed is that, you'll hear them cry,

A Danish Fishing Hound, is my reply.

I'm as proud as can be, when you bark,

Especially when Burglars prowl in the dark.

For you are my friend a real good mate,

As long as you live there'll be bones on your plate.

My arm chair is yours when the Wife's not around,

But when she comes home your bed is the ground.

When you perform the tricks that you know,

I nod my old head and say, I told you so.

My Hound is intelligent with large brown eyes,

He gives me a feeling I cannot disguise.

For I love my old dog, He's got no name,

It doesn't matter what I call him, he comes just the same.

So when you next see us both in the town,

You'll know he's my dog, not just some clown.

Treat him with respect for that is his due,

And my Danish Fishing Hound will be friendly to you.

THE OWL.

Oh you mice and creatures small,

Watch that hole high in the wall.

For there lives a bird so wise,

Silent, watching before she flies.

When the daylights bright and clear,

Then you have no need to fear.

But, when the evening shadows fall,

You will sometimes hear her call.

Lonely penetrating through the night,

Even some humans are filled with fright.

Flying, gliding on silent wings,

Through the night air she swings.

As she pounces on her prey,

There is only one thing to say.

That in her nest up high in the wall,

Hungry owlets their mother call.

Waiting with mouths opened wide,

A hunger that they cannot hide.

An Owl as mother must be wise,

For hers is the moment of surprise.

ALLEY CAT.

In our back alley there prowls and old cat,

With its ears all ragged and torn.

For him, no place on a fire-side mat,

No love to keep him warm.

On moonlit nights you hear him call,

No melodious tones of delight.

He's probably mixed in some kind of brawl,

For this cat it loves to fight.

As I lay awake in my bed at night,

When sleep comes not to my eyes.

Do I have pity for its plight,

As I listen to its nocturnal cries

Once it was loved by human kind,

A fluffy little bundle of joy.

But alas it grew, independent of mind,

And was not deceived by man's ploy.

I saw him last with feline mate,

His eyes looked proudly into mine.

He dared me somehow to share his fate,

Inferring that a cats life, it is fine.

But I am soft, I like my ease,

Independence is hard to achieve.

A book by the fire, I'm easy to please,

At least that's what I believe.

So if you see him prowling by night,

Remember it was his own choice.

Try not to disturb his cat-like delight,

With your loud human voice.

Dogs And Reading.

Dogs are not allowed to soil the path,

On seeing this I wanted to laugh.

For purposes of hygiene, dogs not allowed,

On seeing this, I laughed out loud.

Please keep dogs off of the grass,

Now surely this is some kind of farce.

Dogs must be kept on a lead at all times,

Or owners must pay heavy fines.

I think you know that there is great need,

To teach our dogs how to read.

They are not the ones to blame,

In fact I think it is really a shame.

That no one cares for a dogs needs,

Apart from giving them their daily feeds.

So the next time that you tread in a dogs mess,

It is the owners that you should bless.

A dog cannot read but it is easy to train,

To do its business in the next drain.

INSULTS.

Please do stop and think,

Before you say that we Pigs stink.

What about my friend the Mule,

He's not stubborn as a rule.

Don't be so free with your abuse,

For who is here the silly Goose.

When you say that she's a Cat,

Just who are you looking at.

I'm afraid I can only gape,

When you call some-one and Ape.

You say she's got a face like a Horse,

You are referring to an animal of course.

Or calling her a silly old Cow,

I must protest here and now.

Don't call her a stupid old Mare,

With you words please take care.

When you say that he's a Nit,

Aren't you digging yourself a pit.

Or when you once called me a Louse.

That I haven't the courage of a Mouse.

Yes for the animals I must protest,

For they have given of their best.

To a school they did not go,

At learning they are sometimes slow.

But to be insulted every day,

In the most despicable way.

You know one day they will turn,

Like the proverbial little Worm.

Cat.

On the couch my old cat lies,

She is not so fast as when a kitten.

To catch birds she still tries,

But with rheumatism she is smitten.

In her dreams her paws run wild,

In real life she is very mild.

She weaves in and out of my legs,

Sometimes she even stoops and begs.

If she smells fish upon the table,

She will steal a piece if she is able.

Hours she takes to clean herself,

Licking away on floor or shelf.

She purrs away when sitting on my lap,

Even tries to help when I read a road map.

When I type on my computer keyboard,

She mixes in my writing is not in accord.

The most comfortable place she picks to sleep,

Rendezvous with the Toms she still does keep.

If I go away even for just a day,

She mopes in her own inevitable way.

Does not bite or scratch no more,

Old age has set in that's for sure.

When I see her lying on my old couch,

I cannot complain I have no grouch.

I love her still as when a kitten,

Even if with rheumatism she is smitten,

She makes me happy because she is there,

When she dies I'll have no one my grief to share.

Rabbits and Hares.

There were some rabbits and some hares,

On the stock exchange they bought some shares.

At the exchange the shares went up and up,

To celebrate they drank nectar out of a buttercup.

Going to a broker to ask for some advice,

He told them to invest in lots of white mice.

They quickly went to a public telephone,

It was out of order so they had a moan.

To order white mice out of season,

Was daft and without reason.

They decided to buy shares in lettuce and carrots,

Or even bid for some shares in Amazonian Parrots.

For their troubles they suddenly heard,

That Amazonian Parrots are a protected bird.

They were undaunted and to get rid of their money,

They decided to invest in New Zealand honey.

Shares for honey were down in the dumps,

So they went back home and caught the mumps.

Now lying in bed with all of the cares,

Nothing could compensate for the loss in shares.

Back in the fields where the grass is green,

Having no money is really mean.

But you know I do not care for rabbits and hares,

It is no loss to me that they invest in shares.

Butterfly

I saw a lovely butterfly,
Dancing an age-old dance.
Fluttering from flower to flower,
As if in permanent trance.
From buttercup to daisy on to sweet smelling rose.
I in my humility watching your each ecstatic pose.
Rising high, sinking low,
Each nuance of colour a friendly glow.
You are not miserly your brilliance to show.
Seeking sweet nectar from heavenly blooms,
Lifting me high from out of my glooms.
Were you sent from heaven on high?
Descending from a warm summer sky,
Dainty yet tireless in your earthly flight,
Where do you retire in the darkness of night?
At the break of dawn I will see you again,
Performing the dance of perpetual fame.
Delightful to see a treat for my eyes,
You heavenly visitor from out of the skies.

Fleas.

If ever you own a bag of Fleas,

I have one favour to ask of you.

Do not open it near me please,

For that would not be an experience new.

Fleas might be creatures of him on high,

Sent to plague all of mankind.

I can do without them I sigh,

Just the thought of them addles my mind.

Take them to a flea circus if you will,

Teach them a trick or two, who knows?

Perhaps they have a talented skill,

To act in public shows.

Fleas that crawl in my head of hair,

I would take drastic measures to kill.

As a youth I had more than my share.

To get rid of the takes some skill.

So if you really have a bag of fleas,

Do not come near me I plead.

They are not creatures that please,

And I myself have for fleas no need.

Sounds of love.

The skylark flies on high,

Singing as the day goes by.

The nightingale’s song melodious and bright,

Helps me through a sleepless night.

I listen to the night owl,

Full knowing she is on the prowl,

Dawn chorus melodious and full,

Wake me at daylights pull.

Robins chirp to reassure their young,

Beautiful the songs that are sung.

When my eyes sweep the skies,

I see eagles much to my surprise,

Then I thank him high above,

For sending me his sounds of love.

Hound.

I looked into your dark brown eyes,

It was love at the very first sight.

Young and playful a real surprise,

With your needle teeth you tried me to bite.

Your coat was silky your paws were small,

Your nose took in every scent.

I bought you a collar as I recall,

You followed me wherever I went.

I spent long hours to find you a name,

In the end I called you Hound.

We might never reach much fame,

But together we are tightly bound.

I take you for walks four times a day,

Your feed I carefully choose.

With my slippers you roughly play,

You are a partner I do not want to lose.

You never had a pedigree myself I did not care,

With your brown eyes you stole my heart.

A dog is all I wanted my life to share,

Now I know Hound that we will never part.

Cat.

You were just a bundle of fur,

When I took you to my home.

I did not even know if you were a him or her,

Or whether you would stay or roam.

I fed you with milk and the yokes of eggs,

A small sip of brandy because you were so week.

I watched you totter around on unsteady legs,

You were always somehow playing hide and seek.

You were mischievous yes every day,

Everything I owned was yours, as you know.

You ran around the house always at play,

I was just happy to watch you grow.

You developed into a very beautiful cat,

With long angora fur that I groomed for hours.

You took over the whole of my flat,

Even tried to eat my flowers.

Ice cream was your favourite dish,

With protest you ate food from a tin,

As I remember well you loved a piece of fish,

Sometimes a sip of orange with a spot of gin.

We were very happy you the wife and me,

Our love was united we were as one,

You ran our very lives as far as I could see,

And every day we three had great fun.

We gave you the name of Minky,

Friends thought that you were daft,

But as cat you were kinky

And gave us many a laugh.

Eighteen long years you were our one and all,

               Nothing escaped your sharp eyes you were all seeing

. You did, as you like, as I seem to recall,

A clever cat with an independent being,

I Am Going Home.

Cows happily chew the cud.

Pigs wallow in the mud.

Cats purr when they are stroked,

Salmon is expensive when it is smoked.

Giraffes never get sore throats.

Elephants do not need overcoats.

Wolves howl at the moon.

Turtledoves never swoon.

Ducks swim in rivers and lakes.

Snakes in the desert rattle and shake.

Monkeys swing around in the trees.

From flowers pollen is gathered by the bees.

Now if you will kindly finish this poem on your own,

I have had enough and I am going home.

Puppy Dog.

I gazed into those deep brown eyes,

And was immediately mesmerised.

A two-month-old puppy just for me alone,

I knew that I must groom him and give him a home

As he grew I taught him some tricks,

I was the one that got the most kicks.

I would get him to lie down and die for the Queen,

That is a trick that most people have not seen.

Every day we went for long walks,

He listened carefully to all of my long-winded talks.

Sleeping by the side of my bed,

On his two front paws his wonderful head.

A wagging tail told me that he was at ease,

Just a wonderful dog that did me please.

Food was no problem he ate what I gave,

At the edge of my plate titbits I did save

When my meal was finished I placed them in his nap,

He gobbled them down as if to say there's a good chap.

We were together for many a long year.

To me he was someone very dear.

If you get the chance to look into a Puppy's eyes,

I just know that you are in for a surprise.

It might be that you too will have found a true friend,

Some one to help you your time to spend.

Duck And Drake.

A beautiful sight a Duck and Drake,

Swimming serenely on our local lake.

The duck was dressed in russet brown,

Feathers for the drake a colourful gown.

I was sitting at a table drinking beer,

When suddenly a majestic Swan did appear.

Dressed in a feathered coat of white,

It made a most impressive sight.

Then I saw some Rainbow Trout,

This was indeed a wonderful day out.

Out in the freshness of the country air,

Nature had put on her show with flare.

If you too go out to the lake,

I am sure it will your day make.

There is so much to be seen and enjoy,

A delightful experience for every Girl and Boy.

Adults too are invited to the local lake,

Perhaps you too will see the Duck and the Drake.

My Old Dog.

My old dog has never seen a throne,

He has never seen a King or Queen.

I think he would be happier with a bone,

Than with any Royal I have ever seen.

My old dog leads a dog's life,

No invites to the palace for tea,

He does not even have a wife,

Just spends his life with me.

No Royal comforts for this old dog of mine,

Just a bowl for his water and food,

Buckingham Palace can keep its shine,

For we are neither in the mood.

To live in a Palace or to sit on a throne,

Would not suit my old dog or me,

I know he would sooner have a bone,

And for myself just a sweet cup of tea.

Life With A cat.

Have you shared your life with a Cat for a pet?

It is the best experience you will ever get.

Independent free in mind she surely rules the day,

We poor human folk have nothing indeed to say.

A living example of independence sublime,

We just give in to her most of the time.

She rewards us with a purr so sweet,

That we humans are just swept off our feet.

She is haughty proud and intelligent.

Time with your cat is very well spent.

Sometimes she has her ups and downs,

Her face is unreadable she never frowns.

She can bit and she can scratch,

In courage she can a human match.

If you do not believe what I say is true,

Then get yourself a cat one will do.

Live the adventures with a young kitten,

You will be with the love bug smitten.

On your lap she will purr away,

And surely give you a happy day.

My House

Some-one is knocking on my front door,
I do not want a visitor that’s for sure.
Shall I get up and let them in to my house,
Why not they won’t disturb me and my mouse.

So I get up out of my comfortable chair,
Grumbling a little, but I don’t really care.
Opening the front door I let you into my house,
You can never disturb me and my mouse.

Your greeting was loud and hearty indeed,
This upsets me I will soon wish you God speed.
There is no room for a stranger in my house,
It grieves me and my nice little mouse.

You told me that you were collecting for the poor,
It seemed a good idea to knock on my door.
I took some coppers from out of my tin,
Glad now that I had let you in.

To give to the poor is a reward on its own,
I am pleased with myself for letting you into my home.
Showing you out of the front door of my house,
I was pleased to get back to the company of my mouse.